In this friendly little ranching town, “hello” is wearing out its welcome. And Leonso Canales Jr. is happy as heck.
At his urging, the Kleberg County commissioners on Monday unanimously designated “heaven-o” as the county’s official greeting. The reason: “hello” contains the word “hell.”
“When you go to school and church, they tell you ‘hell’ is negative and ‘heaven’ is positive,'” said the 56-year-old Canales, who owns the Kingsville Flea Market. “I think it’s time that we set a new precedent, to tell our kids that we are positive adults.”
The new salutation, according to the county resolution, is a “symbol of peace, friendship and welcome” in this “age of anxiety.”
So, what about these other words that have the word “hell” in it?
- words containing shell – “Eggshells, I mean eggsheavens are good for your compost” or “She sells seasheavens by the seashore”
- hellion – I’ve heard that President Kimball was quite a heavenion
- hellhole – It doesn’t have the same feeling when you say “I would never want to live in this heavenhole!”
I know I’m a day late on this one, but I’m not usually on the computer very much on Sundays…
Yesterday our 13-year-old Deacons Quorum President spoke on Fathers. He spoke about his father and his grandfathers and what he has learned from them. He also read a short story about Father’s which was attributed to Erma Bombeck. I usually don’t like these sorts of things, but I thought this one was pretty good.
When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, “What kind of father is that? If you’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping.” God smiled, “Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?” When God made a father’s hands, they were large and sinewy. The angel shook her head sadly and said, “Do You know what You’re doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, or rubber bands on pony tails.” God smiled, “I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face.” Then God molded long legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearby said “Do You realize You just made a father without a lap? How will he pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?” God smiled, “A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus.” God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. “Do You honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?” God smiled, “They’ll support a small child who wants to “ride a horse to Banbury Cross” or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill.” God worked through the night, giving the father few words but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant. Finally, He added tears, then turned to the angel, “Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?” The angel was silent.
So, I was watching a few “latest news” videos on the CNN news site, and I just let them play through. At one point, between videos was a commercial for the Church’s video called Finding Happiness. Then, the next thing I knew there was a segment on about how Lindsay Lohan had posted a topless picture of herself on Twitter. Weird timing! Obviously the Church doesn’t pick exactly when their commercial will be shown. I just wondered if that was a good place or a bad place to show a Church commercial? I kind of thought it was funny. Ms. Lohan has had a lot of problems lately. Maybe she should get a copy of the video 🙂
Last night my wife did the Family Home Evening lesson. She called it “Scriptures In A Bag” (I’m not sure whether she made this up or found it online). She had several small paper bags on the floor, and each of them had an object or two in it. By seeing the objects in the bag, we were supposed to come up with a scripture that related to those objects. There were pictures of temples in one bag, a container of water in the other, a boat, notepad and pencil, and more. One of the bags that a toy peach, tomato and muffin in it. I joked with the family that I didn’t remember seeing any scripture that had a peach, tomato and muffin in it. My son that blurted out very loudly, “The last supper!”
No, not THAT Donny Osmond. On second thought, it was that Donny Osmond, but it wasn’t him in person. You see, a few weeks ago the Ward Mission Leader came up to me with a wet plastic grocery bag in his hands (it was raining) and said that someone had left this out front of the Church. Lo and behold, the bag contained a Donny Osmond CD and 3 albums. The wife of my 1st Counselor loves the Osmond’s (they saw some of the brothers perform recently), so we gave it all to her.
This just seemed so random to me… we’re Mormon, so if you want to get rid of something released by a Mormon performer you drop it off at their building? Should I be doing that with Catholic, Jewish, or other performers? I didn’t know 🙂